yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
