I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
