I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
