She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
