She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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