You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
