Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
