wrigley field is MILF paradise
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize