She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
