I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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