He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
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Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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