just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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