I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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