wrigley field is MILF paradise
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
