i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Congratulations! We have a period
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