I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
