He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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