I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize