just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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