I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
He told me they were just razor bumps!
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
