oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
