I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
