just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
