I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
