I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I'm sobbing to NWA
Randomize
