No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
