Someone shit on the floor
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
