Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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