Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
