It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
