Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
