I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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