i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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