I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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