his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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