Jerry, you need to find god
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
