the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
