And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
vagina is talking i cant
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
