It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
