YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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