I must be too annoying 4 u.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
