take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
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