in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
