I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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