your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize