Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize