Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
