Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
The Olympian is in my bed
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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