I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
