we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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