Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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