I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
