i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
