Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.