either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet