Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?

(609): View more from New Jersey

Haha how much did you smoke

(570): View more from Pennsylvania

4 feet of smokeee!

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(570): "Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another? (609): Haha how much did you smoke (570): 4 feet of smokeee! http://tfl.nu/eyp0

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(619): View more from California

Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.

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(619): Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular. http://tfl.nu/9sri

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(515): View more from Iowa

they need to just BURY HIM!

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(515): they need to just BURY HIM! http://tfl.nu/yy9j

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(540): View more from Virginia

david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n

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(540): david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n http://tfl.nu/9r0h

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one

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(405): so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one http://tfl.nu/mfz0

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(217): View more from Illinois

you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...

(1-217): View more from Illinois

please don't ever take me to a strip club again...

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(217): you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals... (1-217): please don't ever take me to a strip club again... http://tfl.nu/2ds8

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(219): View more from Indiana

Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.

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(219): Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills. http://tfl.nu/rh2h

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(641): View more from Iowa

You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.

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(641): You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid. http://tfl.nu/bnv7

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(907): View more from Alaska

Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.

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(907): Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me. http://tfl.nu/90ns

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(303): View more from Colorado

Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.

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(303): Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV. http://tfl.nu/f5v6

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(406): View more from Montana

Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.

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(406): Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor. http://tfl.nu/e8dt

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(407): View more from Florida

It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.

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(407): It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome. http://tfl.nu/288f

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(580): View more from Oklahoma

The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.

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(580): The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference. http://tfl.nu/nnsg

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(614): View more from Ohio

Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well

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(614): Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well http://tfl.nu/giyd

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(307): View more from Wyoming

Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.

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(307): Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle. http://tfl.nu/2vsv

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