Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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